Yes. Difficult times.

She knows residential care is not far off.

Some things they’ve done. He sorted out a power of attorney last year, which was about the right time. He stopped driving too, before anyone had to say anything. At the moment, he wants me to order some kind of strap that’ll make getting in and out of the car a bit easier. I’ll do it, of course, but it won’t be many months before they can’t do that. I’ll have to look at options for taxis that can take wheelchairs.

Maybe she should have one of those call for help buttons. He had one for a while, but it wasn’t especially useful for him, because she was always there, and could help, or make a phone call. I’ll see if I can persuade her.

It is, though exactly what constitutes danger when your body and brain are deteriorating and there’s no treatment, is an interesting question.

Gathering some stuff together ready to head up to my parents’ tomorrow. I think it won’t be very much longer before my mother can’t manage to take care of my father at home.

She’s already on first name terms with the paramedics she has to call to lift him up if he falls somewhere too awkward for the lifting aids. She has to transfer him from chair to wheelchair — and he’s twice her weight, and she’s over 80. She has to wash him because he loses track of what he’s doing when he tries to do it himself. She has to shave him because he doesn’t have the motor control to do that, even with an electric razor. It’s not much fun.

@kdfrawg Next…

There are lots of ways to make someone feel bad.

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I learned when I worked as an engineer that if men went on about something, it was because they knew best, and their wives needed to be told three hundred times. If the wife went on about something, that was nagging and was just background noise to be ignored.

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Is that what spouses are supposed to do?

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