BT online: The fault’s in your house, you need to phone and book someone to come out and fix it.
BT on the phone: stay on hold for ages, answer a zillion daft questions… the fault isn’t in your house, we’ll fix it.
BT text: We need access to your home to fix the problem. You need to phone us.
Aargh.
You’re supposed to be able to book appointments on line, but their system doesn’t work.